Peer Review: Debbie and Ligia

Debbie's first draft: Coral Reefs

1. Does the draft have a main point (thesis)? 
If yes, please cut and paste or copy the sentence(s) that contain the thesis onto your blog.
Today, coral reefs are on the verge of becoming extinct. Many of the creatures living in coral reefs today rely on them for their survival. We must change our habits and save our reefs. 

2. Find an instance of what you consider an interesting or useful example, image, chart, etc. and explain why. (You should cut and paste the passage/image or at least say in what page and paragraph it is).

Destructive fishing practices, land-based sources of pollution such as agricultural runoff, and excessive coastal development all have detrimental effects on these delicate reefs. 

This is important, because she is stating that not only is pollution hazardous to the coral reefs, but so are destructive fishing practices, which most people don't even think about.

“Changes in sea temperature caused by climate change and global warming affect corals, but they also affect the types of bacteria and other micro flora that live with them. When the water warms up, some disease-causing bacteria are more successful and can attack the corals. The corals themselves suffer from heat, which reduces their defenses” (Science daily). 
“Scientists report that 40% of the corals will be damaged by the year 2010 if nothing changes” (CDNN).

This piece of information is also important, because global warming, something in which we contribute to, is a problem to the environment for so many reasons and this is one problem that is overlooked. 

3. Find a place in the paper that you consider confusing or boring and explain why. (You should cut and paste the passage or at least say in what page and paragraph it is).
Water quality declines when pollution discharges from coastal areas reduce visibility and oxygen, the increase chlorophyll levels, causes a proliferation of new coral diseases and massive algal blooms.

This sentence confused me a bit, after reading a few times I think I kinda understand what she is trying to say, it's just it's two sentences combined with no conjunction. 

4. Does the draft acknowledge where information comes from IN THE BODY OF THE TEXT? (the bibliography does not count for this question)

Yes she added citations throughout the draft.

5. If the draft has a fictional "human interest story," discuss whether it is convincing/imaginative/detailed or forced/tedious/general.

She did have an imaginative part in the draft. This was interesting because she was able to give a descriptive vision of coral bleaching, in which we had to imagine in our minds.

6. Would you recommend that the writer get some help with grammar before turning in the last draft? Why? Why not?

Yes, there were a few sentences that could be combined and she should try to keep topics within paragraphs instead of spread out. 

Ligia's second draft:

1. Does the draft have a main point (thesis)? 
If yes, please cut and paste or copy the sentence(s) that contain the thesis onto your blog.
The arrival of the oil companies to the Ecuador’s Amazons created more destruction than wealth.

2. Find an instance of what you consider an interesting or useful example, image, chart, etc. and explain why. (You should cut and paste the passage/image or at least say in what page and paragraph it is).

The majority of Ecuadorians live off of agriculture ...The land became poisoned and unusable for agriculture...Since people cannot work their lands anymore, they looked for jobs in the oil companies.  The jobs of course they get are unsanitary... The oil companies are throwing all the poisoned wastes into the water and land...causing a lot of health problems... This has become a serious problem for the Huaorani because they cannot afford medicine from outside.  Therefore, they only use their rituals and traditional medicine, which involves the environment that is being destroyed.   

These points are interesting, because it gives a cycle to the problems. It shows how one thing affects the other.

3. Find a place in the paper that you consider confusing or boring and explain why. (You should cut and paste the passage or at least say in what page and paragraph it is).

Each one of us left our native country with the hope of finding a better future; but, with the promise of someday going back.  However, throughout time we started getting involved and influenced by our country of residence.  Little by little we started parting from our native country.  We do not pay a lot of attention to the things that are going on there, until something big or drastic happens.  This is why I decided to pick a major environmental problem that Ecuador is facing today.   I want to inform Ecuadorians and people from other countries of the things that are going on, in Ecuador’s Amazon.        

Ecuador is located Western South America, bordering the Pacific Ocean at the Equator, between Colombia and Peru.

I'm not sure if my computer did this or if she was going to change this paragraph.

4. Does the draft acknowledge where information comes from IN THE BODY OF THE TEXT? (the bibliography does not count for this question)

Yes she included citations in her draft.

5. If the draft has a fictional "human interest story," discuss whether it is convincing/imaginative/detailed or forced/tedious/general.

She has not added a fictional story or character in her paper.

6. Would you recommend that the writer get some help with grammar before turning in the last draft? Why? Why not?

Just a bit, she has a few grammar errors and repeated a few sentences twice.